(Dream Narrated By Three by Justin Potts) It's Tuesday and I thought all weekend that I'd like to write a blog about the ways in which my life is gylanic - that is, oriented toward partnership. My immediate family consists of my husband, my son and our two pets. This makes things fairly simple for me :-). Of course, the gylany that I'm speaking of is the gylany that exists between my husband and I and how we share our responsibilities. I have told my mother-in-law many times that my husband is the only man on earth I would have married and thanked her for birthing him. I do it in a joking way, but I am really very serious.
In our house, many of the household duties usually considered to be women's work: cooking, cleaning and childcare are as evenly distributed as makes sense to us. We have created a lifestyle where we live, work and homeschool from our home. As such, we share the responsibility of cooking meals; we clean the house together once a week and we split each day in half to homeschool our son. This way, he gets to be with and learn from both of us and it breaks up his day. Also, we both have the opportunity of connecting with him and sharing his learning experiences. Obviously, this isn't for everyone, but it works with how our lives are structured and I think it is a benefit for him and for us!
Where housework is concerned, before we implemented the "everyone cleans" agreement, I often felt resentful that my husband had to mow the lawn maybe once or twice per month, change the oil every 3 months and do other odd or emergency "fixing" type jobs, but I had to clean the house and do the laundry every single week without fail. When we agreed to start cleaning the house together, it was as if an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Yes, I probably still do more cooking and childcare than he does, but he just replaced the starter in our minivan and spent most of his Saturday doing it! This is something I would never dream of doing and I'm so appreciative that he is willing and able to figure such things out. Also, I don't have to carry a hammer around with me everywhere I go in case I need to tap the starter to get the van to start!
As for cooking, it is an immense relief to me not to be responsible for every single meal, every single day of the week. I do like to prepare food, it is a good and holy thing, but the idea of it always falling to me is, like housework, resentment in the making! So, the way it works in our house is that whoever is the homeschool parent in the morning makes lunch and whoever is the homeschool parent in the afternoon makes dinner. This way, no one person has to be resonsible for two meals in a row on any given day. Now, of course, there are exceptions to this rule and we work them out gracefully, because we know that we are sharing the burden together. So, if I have to make two meals in a row, I know that it isn't a life sentence, just what's happening today!
I'd love to know how other people are going Gylanic!
In Peace,
Mary Preiser Potts
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